Category: General

Today Is A Catch Up Day

Photo Created by Raiscara Avalon

I am so behind.

Okay, so I’m really not – I am where I am. But I FEEL behind, and that’s a powerful thing. So I’m taking some time to mitigate that feeling as much as possible – cause we all know where it goes. Straight into the land of stress, overwhelm and eventually, nothing gets done! Feeling behind is also guaranteed to trigger my panic attacks and seriously piss off my OCD.

Which, naturally, makes me have a very bad day indeed.

Image by Jürgen Sieber from Pixabay

And this weekend was fucked – woke up Friday to the joy of being hypersensitive to everything. And not like my usual levels of my having a hypersensitive day, no sirree bob! This was hypersensitivity on crack – it was like the entire world was made up of sharp glass. Every sound hurt like shards of glass being flung at my ears, the light was like stabbing shards of glass – even my clothes and the very air hurt.

I was not a happy person. A whisper at 50 feet through walls hurt.

Saturday was much the same, only I wasn’t quite as sensitive – more like a normal level of hypersensitivity! And a wicked bout of insomnia Saturday night – I didn’t fall asleep until after 8 am Sunday morning! So naturally, there went Sunday, as I slept all day, and a repeat of Saturday night happened Sunday night. Here it is 6:21 am, and I still haven’t slept yet.

So today is a catch up day. Maybe a catch up week, who knows?

Some things I need to catch up on:

  • Emails
  • Medium Articles
  • Goals (Writing and tracking)
  • Meg’s Story
  • Blog Posts (Writing ahead)
  • The metric shit ton of other to-dos…
  • Oh yeah, sleep…

I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop – usually becoming that sensitive means something is coming down the pike, and it usually isn’t something I’m going to like, such as a bad flare or migraine. Nothing yet and my fingers are crossed that it was just wacky weather! This is a good week for a catch up week too – it’s very light as far as outside the house stuff – only two appointments on the books that I know of.

What happens when you feel behind? Do you have catch up days or weeks? Do they help, if so?

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Happy New Year!

Photo Created by Raiscara Avalon

Welcome, 2020! We greet you with joy – or at least I do. 2019 didn’t seem to be a good year for many, at least on my social media. But right now, we have that moment of hope, before routine and daily living turn us back into mindless drones…the birth of 2020.

There’s nothing quite like the birth of a new year – it’s almost like all of humanity holds its breath in excitement and awe, filled with hope for what the year will bring. Generally, that lasts until the first Monday after the new year, then it’s back to the same ole same.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Happy New Year! We get excited, we plan, we hope – then come Monday, we give up. Why is that? Why do we not hold on to the good feelings, and instead succumb to the usual apathy? Because apathy is comfortable, we’re familiar with it – feeling good for too long makes us uncomfortable. Feeling numb is comfortable, familiar and unchallenging – it doesn’t make us want things we think we can’t have. Hope makes us want to be better – better people, better selves. It tells our excuses where they can stick it – and reasons are just excuses in disguise, no matter how valid they may be.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

This year can be different. Embrace being uncomfortable in 2020 and make your resolutions or goals stick. Inertia is what is holding you back, but once you start, you will build momentum – and it’s hard to stop something once it gets moving. All you have to do is keep moving, even if it’s only 5 minutes a day…it all adds up. An object in motion (that’s you) will stay in motion – but an object at rest (you again) will stay at rest. 

Which do you want to be in 2020? Happy New Year!

2019 In Review and Looking Forward To 2020

Photo Created by Raiscara Avalon

It’s time to wrap up the year, and 2019 was one hell of a year. Mostly filled to the brim with bullshit, but hey, what’s the end of a decade for? Thank the gods that it is over!

Did Anything Go Right In 2019?

I got a new furnace. Otherwise, no – and the man is sticking it to us even now, just before the end of the year. The boyfriend has lost his food stamps and medical, for no known reason – and I’m down to $16 a month currently, for some unknown reason. And with no phone, can’t find out why and maybe fix it just yet. Always something this year to make life a little more challenging – but hey, definitely incentive to get the fuck off the state.

They really are more trouble then they are worth.

You end up jumping through more hoops than a normal person would expect, after laying down any sort of dignity you had left. Then you are beholden to them as they dole out some measly amount that you can just barely maybe survive on…but can change on a whim. And woe to the person that doesn’t follow the 400 million rules there are to these “benefits!” Never mind the fact that no one knows 1% of them, never mind ALL of them – and most of them you swear are made up literally on the spot.

Did I mention that you are treated like literal dirt this whole time? How dare you *gasp* need help?!

Image by annca from Pixabay

2010 – 2019

Honestly, not a good decade for me – at all! Lots of loss in the beginning – lost my mother in Oct of 2010. My daughter was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis in Jan 2011. Literally one thing after the other happened in this decade – it was a very turbulent decade. I became disabled in 2010, though I didn’t actually receive benefits till 2015. I will be very glad to see the backside of this decade, that is for sure.

I don’t think I met any of my goals at all in this decade, other than staying alive. Which is all I really can say I did. Which is actually quite the accomplishment, considering there were many a time where I was pretty sure life was trying to kill me.

Looking Forward To 2020

Fortunately, 2019 is almost behind us. And before us, all the glory that is 2020 and a new decade wrapped up in one. I have high hopes for this year, and this decade, that’s for sure. I’m not entirely sure it could be any worse than the one I just left. Really hoping to do some living and not just surviving, that’s for sure – I’m not getting any younger. Kiddo is going to be graduating high school soon – I’m running out of time quite literally.

In 2020 I am focusing on my most important value: Freedom. Without that one value, nothing else really matters all that much to me. And I’m finding already that freedom means much more than face value! I’m digging into some limiting beliefs, soul searching, doing lots of inner work – while also focusing on the obvious financial and other external definitions as well. This may carry me through the entire decade, we shall see.

Making more money is definitely one of my goals. But beyond that, I’m actually putting the time and effort into becoming financially stable with what I have right now. Yes, that means a budget – and so far, no one is happy with it but me. My boyfriend is the least happy. He’s already trying to change my mind and manipulate things to his liking, but so far, I’m holding strong. He’s even threatened not to do anything around the house! Which hey, is fine by me – do nothing, and I don’t have to give you an allowance at all. That’s money I can put elsewhere.

I have a lot of goals for the coming year, and with them, several new habits need to be instilled into me. A lot of people forget that habits make up goals and that to make goals easier, you need to come up with and get new habits. I’m about as prepared for 2020 as I can get, though I still have some planning to do to ensure that everything I can think of is covered. Of course, it’s a living document – I’ll be adding as time goes on and removing as things get accomplished.

What are your plans for 2020? Are you happy or sad that 2019 is leaving us?

Posts You May Have Missed In 2019

Starting Over From Scratch

Healthy Meal Planning Bundle Expiring Soon (Expired)

Everything Is An Experiment

You Reap What You Sow – The Good AND The Bad

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

Herbs & Essential Oils Super Bundle 2019

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Photo Created by Raiscara Avalon

And no, I don’t mean that catchy NSync tune either. Alright, you twisted my arm. I will warn you though, it is catchy as hell! And naturally, they’re adorable.


Seriously adorable – and catchy!

It’s old, I get it – but it still gives me the warm fuzzies. And I don’t know about you, but I feel most of us could use some warm fuzzies and holiday spirit this year!

Image by Larisa Koshkina from Pixabay

No matter the frustrations of the season, remember to give thanks. Maybe now is the perfect time for us all to start Gratitude journals! Oh, I was the only one who got notebooks for Christmas? Seriously?! Use something else. I actually use journaling software for it anywho. So there!

Enjoy your holidays everyone, and most importantly – may the odds be forever in your favor. Stay safe out there!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours! What are some of your holiday traditions and stories?